Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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