Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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