garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
