i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
