You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
