I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
