Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
now i know why i became what i already was.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
