Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
