I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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