I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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