i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
