He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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