Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
