im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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