We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize