i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
