My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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