We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
