My underwear smells like fireworks.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
