I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
