i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
there is glitter all over my balls
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
