Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
