and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
