Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How external is "for external use only"?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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