Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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