PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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