Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
