How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
