Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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