Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
