He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
