Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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