i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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