My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize