I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
