I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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