dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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