It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
