Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
