we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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