Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
