first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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