okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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