Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You were trust falling into bushes
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
