wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
