After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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