i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
