She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
