how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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