After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize