Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
