why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
