I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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