I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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