The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
