Just cropdusted the office
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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