you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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