some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
