i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
