New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
