STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She's the barista slut.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
