Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
